But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
