Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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