I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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