It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
