Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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