You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
