One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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