I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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