He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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