lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
