I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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