I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
