I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
50% drunk capacity currently
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
