4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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