he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
