Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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