he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
