Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
