'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
