I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize