i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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