i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize