i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
