Buhtt sex?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
