Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
love makes seman taste better
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
