just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
