I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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