That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
