butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
