just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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