she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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