I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
