Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
