We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
