I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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