We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
