did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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