Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
