You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
