I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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