i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
