pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
