The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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