you have to choose: penises or morals?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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