Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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