okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
