i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
