If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
