Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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