you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
